John sitting at a bar, and he was crying uncontrollably. Eventually, the man next to him turned to him, and asked "What the hell is wrong with you?! I'm trying to watch a f**king game here!"
John kept sobbing for a while, then he said "My wife's cheating on me! What did I ever do to her? Why would she do this to me? WHY?! GODDAMN HER!" and he puts his head down and starts sobbbing again.
The man next to him sighs and whispers "Do you really hate her that much?"
"Yes! Shes been cheating on me for months, and she never told me! That whore!" John pauses for a moment, and says "Actually, she isn't a whore. I've made sure of that. Shes the perfect woman, much better than you could ever hope for!"
The man, after hearing this, gets really pissed off, and is about to yell at John, when he thinks of an idea. He says "Well, i'm a hitman, and I can nail her and her lover for 10,000 dollars a bullet. How 'bout it?"
John looks up, and without hesitation says "Well, when do I pay you?"
That night, the two men sneak out to the backyard, where they have a clear view of the bedroom window. The hit-man then says "Ok, now where do you want the bullets?"
"I want one in my wife's head..." John thinks for a bit, then says "And another in the bastard's dick."
Ok, since i'm so awesome, i've made 3 endings for this joke.
Ending one: The hit-man takes out a sniper, positions his gun, but he doesn't fire. "Why aren't you firing? Hurry up already!" John says.
The hit-man replies "Well... Lets just say... If I get a good enough aim, i'll save you 10,000 dollars"
Ending two: The hit-man says "We've agreed, right? 10,000 dollars a bullet."
John says "Yes already! Get on with it!"
The hit-man shrugs, and pulls out a machine gun.
Ending three: The hit-man takes out his sniper, takes aim, and fires a shot. Shortly after, they hear a man screaming. The sniper then just sits there, waiting. John yells "Cmon, hurry up and shoot the bastard's dick!"
"If you insist" whispered the hit-man, and he shot off John's dick.
Moral of the story: Hmm, guess there is none.
Thanks to Sean C., for telling me this joke. Hope you guy s liked it.
The hit-man replies "Well...