There are 3 different dicks all talking to eachother.
The 1st one says "I couldn't be living a better life, my owner washes me and takes very good, and gentle care of me."
Then, the second one says "That's nice, but my owner lets me breath in nice, open areas, and he strokes me on a daily bases."
After, the 3rd dick says "You guys are lucky, all my owner does suffocates me with little bags and puts me in dark places. Then he shakes me back and forth until I throw up!"