A Washington, D.C. airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair would not get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. Then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look stupid, I explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in South Africa."
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that that's not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked at the map and Florida is a very thin state."
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada? I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation I noticed he had only a one hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car he explained, "I heard that Dallas is a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time." (Arghhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She wanted to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m. and landed in Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally i explained that the plane went very fast, which satisfied her.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in at the counter they put a tag on my bag that said 'FAT', and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude."
I put her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (actually I was laughing). I came back and explained that the airline code for her destination, Fresno, was FAT (Fresno Air Terminal) and the airline had merely put a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him exactly what he meant and he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
10. A woman Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola, Florida, on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty."
11. A senior Senator called with a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports I reminded him that he he also needed a visa. He responded, "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those. I double checked and confirmed that his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.
12. A New Mexico Congressman called to make reservations, stating, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, N.Y. I was momentarily at a loss for words. Finally I asked, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?"
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and I can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map."
So I scoured a map of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
The reply, "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."
I swear these are true. Now you know why the government is in the shape that its in.
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