Timmy was a boy who went through life never being able to lie. His parents were always cursing, never thinking that it would have any affect on him.
So one day, Timmy's mother is getting ready for a party. She has a dress on and looks to him for his opinion. "Timmy, dear, does this dress make me look fat?" she asks him.
Without skipping a beat, he answered, "No, it's that enormous ass that makes you look fat."
Later when Timmy was in school, he was having a lot of trouble concentrating on what was written on the board. He couldn't stop staring at the teacher.
"Timmy, is there anything wrong?" she asked him.
"Yes, ma'am, there is," he responded.
"Well, what's wrong?" she had her hands on her hips.
He smiled. "Well, I just can't stop wondering about how wonderfully you shag, ma'am."
Well, she got so mad, she shipped him straight to the office. Once there, the principal was shaking his head.
"Every week you're in here, Timmy," he said with a heavy sigh.
"I know, sir."
"Well, Timmy, why do you think that is?"
"Well, I've seen my teacher on the cover of porno magazines."
The principal asked where he saw this. "I didn't see the magazine. I saw her in bed with my daddy. He said 'Wow, you shag better than my wife. It's a good thing I found a subscription for you in that catalouge.'"
The principal fainted.