Lessons I learned as a child

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1. It is possible to outrun a water balloon, but not a Super-Soaker.

2. A Koosh Ball will explode in the microwave.

3. Never tease your little sister if there is a hockey stick within arms reach.

4. If someone is power-washing a wooden post fence, dont stand behind it.

5. Do not stick your finger in a Light Bright socket.

6. Bunnies do not appreciate being dressed up and walked around in a baby stroller.

7. If you're floating in a pool in an inner tube, it is very easy to flip yourself over so your head is underwater and your feet are flailing in the air, but it is very difficult to flip back over.

8. If you're involved in the creating of a whirlpool, and you are not tall enough to reach the bottom; hold on to someone who is.

9. Do not stick your finger in a bug zapper.

10. Do not convince your little sister to stick her finger in a bug zapper if your mother is within hearing range.

11. On second thought, just stay away from bug zappers.

12. Puppies do not like trampolines.

13. Do not eat before volunteering yourself to be rolled down a hill in a trash barrel.

14. Spiders do not like baths.

15. Goldfish do not like being pet, held, or taken for walks.

16. Chickens do not like being taken for walks.

17. If you try to put a collar and leash on a chicken and take them for a walk, odds are you will be pecked.

18. Dont tell your mother "exactly" why the chicken pecked you.

19. The ice cream truck and the mail truck look very similar, be sure you know which one is coming before you run out in the street waving a dollar in your hand.

20. The mailman doesnÂ’t like it when you run out in the middle of the street waving a dollar in your hand screaming for a snow cone.

21. If you ride a Barbie Jeep in the middle of your street, cars behind you will get mad.

22. Never "ice skate" in your socks on the kitchen floor when your mother is trying to get dinner on the table.


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showing 1 - 8 of 8 discussions       sort by: newest

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by Grace M. 1+ years ago

I would like to add a few from my own childhood: 23: do not listen to your brother when he dares you to call 911 on the big red phone in the bank where your mother works. 24: Do not shake up a soda really well and then open it. 25; do not do 24 in the car, near your mom, or pointing at your own face. 26: Have a really good hiding spot if you are going to tell embrassing stories about your brother to his prom date. (She loved it, though) 27: run to that hiding spot when your brother isn't looking so he can't follow you. 28: Do not change the button controls on your brother's video game. (Your giggling will give you away) 29: do not put rubber snakes in your brother's shoes. 30: do not stick lollapops to the underside of your brother's pillow. 31: do not sing Smash Mouth at 12:00 at night, at full volume. (Parents have a way of coming home early from overnight trips.) 32: Do not attempt to shave the cat. 33: Do not throw stones at geese. (They attacked!) 34: Even at 18 months, do not give your brother black eyes. (Your mother will not be impressed, even 16 years later.) 35: Do not paint the dog's nails green. 36: or pink, purple, navy blue, sky blue, sliver, black, red, or any of these colors together. 37: do not draw on the walls. 38: do not dial random numbers on the phone. 39: do not lock wild animals in your brother's room. that's it. i hope that added a few that i thought it was missing. enjoy!

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by anthony s. 1+ years ago

I have experienced most of these and they are all so true

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by Amy Y. 1+ years ago

Loved number 7 - never experienced it though

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by Curtis J. 1+ years ago

20's my favorite, lol SNOW CONE :P

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by elly j. 1+ years ago

dont ever "ice skate" on the kitchen floor in socks, ever! you will fall and really hurt yourself. learnt from experience. or run around with a box on your head-i ran into the corner of a table and gave myself a black eye ( i was about 4-5)

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by chad b. 1+ years ago

i can definetly attest to number 3. i still have the scars on my head to prove it!

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by edd s. 1+ years ago

brandon if u read the title it says LESSONS I LEARNED AS A (CHILD) which actually means she did this when she was a CHILD...get it

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by brandon g. 1+ years ago

damn are you 12 and did you smoke crack as a "child"???

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CF55J_Lessons I learned as a child

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