Bloke is going on holiday and he has a pet monkey, The guard at the gate tells him that he isnt able to take his monkey on the flight with him. Suddnely an air stewardess tells him that he can take the monkey on board with him so long as he can keep it calm and quiet. When he gets on the flight an the plane takes off the monkey begins to over-react and start screaming. The air stewardess tells the man to throw the monkey out of plane as it cannot stay on if it is going to keep annoying other people. So the man throws the monkey off the plane.
Three men are playing golf in spain. It is a really hot day and they are finding it hard to concentrate. The first man tees off on the 18th and lands his ball straight in a sand bunker. The second tees off and flies the ball straight into the woods. The third tees off and swings the ball off but doent see the direction in which it went. All three men are fairly pissed off to say the least. Later they go to the br at the hotel and they notice a hole in the roof. They ask The barman what it was that came through the roof that caused the damage. The barman replies: "A Monkey"