Police Quotes

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for those of you who like to make friends with policemen on the highway.............

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

# 9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

# 8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

# 7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

# 6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

# 5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

# 4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

# 3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

# 2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


# 1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."


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smiley 8.1 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 2,835 times

categories: ethnic, race, international news, politics, government work, school





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showing 1 - 1 of 1 discussions       sort by: newest

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by Roastedzergling D. 1+ years ago

"two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven" ROFL that just killed me!!

Reply to Roastedzergling D.'s comment
CEQKG_Police Quotes

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