Fred is driving around St. John's, Newfoundland and he sees a sign in front of a house: Talking Dog for Sale. He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. Fred goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yes, I do," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discoveredthat I could talk when I was pretty young I wanted to help the government, so I told CSIS about my gift, and in no time at all, they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in Rooms with Spies and World Leaders, because no one figured a dog would be Eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running." "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the St, John's airport to do some undercover security. Wandering near suspicious characters and listening in." "I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of Medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." Fred is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the Newfie says. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a freakin' liar. He never did any of that shit."