Pick-up Line Comebacks

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Pickup line: *Baby, I wish I could rearrange the alphabet so that 'U'[you] and 'I' were together." Comeback: *To rearrange the alphabet you have to learn it first.*

P: I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me? C: No, but Wal-Mart has a nice selection of bears. Heres $5 bucks.

P: (limited to the christmas season and suggestive) Hey there, you want to lick my candy cane? C: Oh, is it that small? (walk away)

P: (limited to christmas season) You wanna be santa's helper? C: Sorry, but I'm not a ho ho ho

P: I'm sorry, I lost my phone number, can I have yours? C: 438-5678 (GET-LOST)

P: Tell your mama I said thank you C: Sorry, she told me never take advice from scumbags

P: Whats your sign? C: Caution: Bitch crossing

P: Nice A** baby C: Too bad I can't say the same for you

P: I didn't know angels flew so close! C: No, those are horns. Common mistake

P: My lips would love to meet yours C: Funny I was thinking the same thing about my fist

P: My magic watch says you're not wearing any underwear C: Wrong P: oh, it must be set an hour ahead C: Yeah, I'm going to my 300lb boyfriend's house after here

And just random pickup lines:

You and me would look so cute on top of a wedding cake togther

They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree so your mom must be hot too

(saturday night pickup line) I don't go to church, but if you come over tonight I promise you'll be on your knees and saying "Oh God" in the morning [followed by a quick slap to the face]

Is your dad a terrorist? Cause you're the bomb!

[halloween] I don't go trick or treating anymore, so do you have anything sweet i could eat?

[thanksgiving] You be the turkey, I'll be the stuffing (comeback: Oh, that soft huh?)

[thanksgiving] If you come over tonight I'll be giving thanks

[new years] Its a tradition of mine to kiss (year) many times before midnight, you wanna be the first 1000?

[valentines] Do you have first aid training? Cause Cupid just shot me when I saw you {laaaaaame}

Hey Good Lookin, wanna tour of my backseat? [followed by a *hard* slap to the face, and possibly a knee to the crotch]

Female pick-up lines:

Splash your drink on him and tell him you had to put him out cause he's just so hot

Lift your shirt and tell him he's seen yours now let you see his

Tell him you haven't had sex in 2 years and ask him if he'd like to do the honors

Ask him what brand of underwear he's wearing then say nevermind and shove your hand down his pants and check for yourself

(if from out of town) Where I'm from when we greet each other we french kiss

The worst pick-up line I've ever recieved:

I'm a freelance gynocologist and I think its time for your check up



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smiley 6.5 PG13

submitted: 1+ years ago

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categories: men, women, relationships sex, sexuality





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