what your car says about u

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Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars

Acura Legend: I'm too bland for German cars

Acura NSX: I am impotent

Audi 90: I enjoy putting out engine fires

Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 4 of the 50 states

Cadillac Eldorado: I am a very good Mary Kay salesman

Cadillac Seville: I am a pimp

Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating the hell out of people

Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette

Chevrolet Corvette: I'm in a mid-life crisis

Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government

Chrysler Cordoba: I dig the rich Corinthian leather

Datsun 280Z: I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well

Dodge Dart: I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower

Dodge Daytona: I delivered pizza for four years to get this car

Ferrari Testarossa: I am known to prematurely ejaculate

Ford Fairmont: (See Dodge Dart)

Ford Mustang: I slow down to 85 in school zones

Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them

Geo Storm: I will start the 11th grade in the fall.

Geo Tracker: I will start the 12th grade in the fall.

Honda del Sol: I have always said, half a convertible better than no convertible at all

Honda Civic: I have just graduated and have no credit

Honda Accord: I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.

Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.

Isuzu Impulse: I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.

Jaguar XJ6: I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.

Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.

Lamborghini Countach: I only have one testicle

Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo and covered dish suppers

Mercury Grand Marquis: (See above)

Mercedes 500SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an auto-graph

Mercedes 560SEL: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole

Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen- wheeler

MGB: I am dating a mechanic

Mitsubishi Diamante: I don't know what it means either

Nissan00ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.

Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts

Peugeot 505 Diesel: I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List

Plymouth Neon: I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena

Pontiac Trans AM: I have a switchblade in my sock

Porsche 911 Turbo: I have a three inch thingie

Porsche 944: I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too liberal

Saturn SC2: (See Honda Civic)

Subaru Legacy: I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu

Toyota Camry: I am still in the closet

Volkswagon Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns

Volkswagon Cabriolet: I am out of the closet

Volkswagen Jetta GLX: I am hung like a dead horse.

Volkswagon Microbus: I am tripping right now

Volvo 740 Wagon: I am frightened of my wife


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