The Fat Gangster

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Created by: Dally Incorporated

The Fat Gangster

Chapter 1: CBO

Once upon a time in a magical place there was a kid named Jessica. The sad thing was that the kid was a boy. One day somebody decided to start calling him C.B.O. The name was short for see body odor because he stunk horribly. He would even wear the same sweatshirt every single day. He also refused to use deodorant because he believed it caused people to gain weight. Nobody knew why he was worried about this because he easily weighed over 500 pounds. He claimed that all his weight was pure muscle. The sad thing was that his max weight when he was bench-pressing was 20 pounds. This enraged people because CBO would join weightlifting and brag about how much he could lift. He would try to lift 250 pounds. It would just about crush him and everyone would have to save him. He would just say, “Hey, it just slipped.” This wasn’t the only disturbance that CBO caused constantly. He created all kinds of problems. Once he was sitting in his German class near the end of the day. The teacher told them, “Schwer,” which means heavy. So the retarded CBO decided to lift something heavy. He let out a large yell and tried to lift up his desk. Unfortunately, he was far too weak and the desk fell on top of him. It flipped him and his chair over and he fell backwards. His head hit the wall and the entire wall became to crumble. In a few seconds the entire wall had fallen and was destroyed. At the end of all the action the desk was laying on top of CBO. Everyone was silent. CBO’s head was split open and his brains were gushing all over the floor. Suddenly one kid yelled, “Well at least the chair’s okay!” Since nobody liked CBO nobody decided to call the EMS. When the students started to hear him moaning the kid yelled, “Stop whining! I’ve taken worse falls then that!” It took about two and a half hours for the EMS to finally arrive. They repaired him and he was as dumb as ever. His parents used this as an excuse for why he was so retarded and stupid...but nobody believed them.

Chapter 2: The Threat

Later that year in CBO’s German class there was another kid who would constantly make fun of CBO. Most of the time CBO would just start crying and run into the corner and everyone would just ignore him since they all hated him. One day CBO got fed up because he was having a bad day. He had only gotten 3 pounds of bacon for breakfast! When CBO walked in the kid yelled, “Seismic waves! Seismic waves!” He then shook his desk rapidly and everyone left. Actually, he wasn’t shaking the desk; CBO walking was causing huge seismic waves. CBO then walked up to the kid. “Yo, I have a gat in my car!” CBO yelled. “What’s a gat?” the kid yelled. “You don’t know what a gat is? It’s a gun you moron!” CBO yelled. Him yelling actually started a small tornado in the classroom and this got the teacher to notice that there was a problem. “Guns are not allowed in school!” the teacher yelled. “Shut up Mr. Herr!” CBO yelled. Another tornado happened. This however enraged the teacher because in German herr means mister so it was like somebody was calling him Mr. Mr. This drove him insane. He sprinted at CBO and tried to tackle him, but it didn’t turn out very well. As soon as he hit CBO’s body he was flung backwards at about 80 miles per hour. This started a large riot inside the classroom resulting in several deaths, but CBO survived. The sad thing was that CBO never actually owned a car. He was often found asking people for rides home and never knew any driving terms like “tailgating” even though he claimed to driver.

Chapter 3: The Destruction

Another day in German class there was a game going on. The class had to write various things on the board and whichever team did better would win. CBO’s turn had finally come up. He was extremely excited, he even wet himself in his favorite pair of clothes (he still wore them the next day). CBO got up and sprinted at the board, he would finally have a chance to redeem himself. Sadly, it didn’t turn out that way. He tripped and blew down the entire front wall of the classroom. There was dust all over the room and the teacher yelled, “Could you possibly destroy this classroom anymore?!” CBO at that time was trying to get up, but however he slipped on a banana peel and fell again. This time however, he didn’t blow down the front wall; he blew down one of the two side walls! The teacher then kicked CBO out of the classroom. He went out in the hallway to talk to CBO. “Could you please stop blowing down my walls?” the teacher asked CBO. “Yo, homie, I grew up on the streets!” CBO yelled. He actually grew up in the country, but he kept this very secret. The teacher just yelled at him for a few minutes until CBO began crying. The teacher was going to yell at him, but he figured he wouldn’t because his air in his scuba tank was running low. See he wore this anytime he went near CBO because he stunk so badly. It was pretty quiet for CBO the rest of the year besides the time he accidentally suffocated one kid accidentally because of his body odor.

Chapter 4: The Gangster

One thing that CBO loved to do was pretend that he was a gangster. He would walk around with his pants hanging down low. Literally, they were really low; they were actually hanging on the ground! He would walk around with his pants around his ankles and they were so low that everybody could easily see his underwear. One day he accidentally forgot to wear his underwear and he was completely exposed to everyone in the school. This caused several people to barf and one kid even poked his own eyes out to avoid the image. When the principal finally saw CBO, CBO was expelled from the school. “Yo homie, why you gotta be hatin’?” CBO asked him. “I’ll tell you why,” the principal responded, “because I hate your guts!” Once CBO left the school everything was peaceful and calm except in the classroom that only had one wall because CBO plowed down the other three walls. For some reason the school still decided to heat this room and wasted almost all their money on this room. CBO then decided he would go somewhere where he could show off his awesome gangster skills....Detroit.

Chapter 5: Detroit

When CBO first walked into the school in Detroit people immediately began to laugh and him and talk behind his back. “Got something to say?!” CBO would yell at everyone. They would just laugh louder because they all knew even a twelve year old here could tear him apart. Eventually, CBO got fed up with all these kids making fun of him and decided he would get some revenge on the kids. When CBO saw a large gang all standing around a car that were making fun of him he decided to try and take them. “Yo, I got a gat in my car,” he told them all confidently. “What’s a gat?” a kid asked. “Dude, you don’t know what a gat is? It’s a gun!” CBO yelled loudly. They all began laughing like crazy and some of them even spit at CBO. “That’s all you got!” one yelled. He then opened up the back door of the car to show CBO what he had inside of the car. The entire back seat was just filled with weapons. Some of the weapons were machine guns, some shotguns, and some missile launchers. “What kind of gun is it?” one of the kids asked. “A pistol,” CBO smirked. This caused them to laugh even harder and one was even crying he was laughing so hard. “What are you, a three year old?! The smallest thing I have is an uzi!” the first killed screamed at CBO. This enraged CBO and he started to go insane. He charged at the kids, the only problem was that his pants were around his ankles so he kept tripping and he wasn’t too fast to begin with weighing over 500 pounds. It took him 5 minutes to get to their car. By this time they had fired around 500 rounds into CBO. CBO was gradually slowing down as the bullets began to break through his layer of fat. He slowly died a minutes later yelling, “Yo homie, I am a true gangster!” CBO was left in the parking lot for a year because he was impossible to move. Eventually, a construction company was hired to try and get rid of CBO. The United States could not find anywhere where they could put his body so they launched his body into space and it began orbiting the Earth and now most people call him the moon.



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