"It's so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers
2. "If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all." Rodney Dangerfield
3. "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy." Steve Martin.
4. "My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'." Emo Philips.
5. "When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better." Mae West.
6. "What's wrong with a little incest? It's both handy and cheap." James Agate
7. "I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though." Elton John.
8. "My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects." Les Dawson
9. "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own." Woody Allen
10. "A terrible thing happened to me last night again - Nothing." Phyllis Diller
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