"IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Translated: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES." Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU." Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
The good thing is that (with the exception of a few pitiful guys) at most, half of these only apply to one guy. I know I'm guilty of "Can I help with dinner?" "Uh-huh" "I was listening" (not distracted by women, but tv or computer) "That's interesting" "You know how bad my memory is" (I have bad memory in certain ways, I can remember bits of important things, horrible with names, and I remember almost all random useless facts I have come in contact with) "I can't find it" (With me it means, I am so consumed in what I am doing on my computer that I turned my head for five seconds, didn't see it and went back to the computer) "I'm not lost" (I actually have a pretty good internal map, I usually only get lost for 15 minutes for finally finding wherever I'm going without my GPS or back before I got it)
"I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."---bahaha that one is SO TRUE
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