Bar Bets

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A man walks into a bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. He says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, are you a betting man?", the bartender ponders for a moment and says, "I've been known to take a bet from time to time."

The man says, "Well, I'll bet you $200 that I can bite my right eye"

Thinking that this was ridiculous, the bartender agrees to the bet. Then man then takes out his glass eye and bites down on it.

"Oh, that's just horrible!" the bartender says, "but a bets a bet." and pays the man his money.

"Bartender," the man says, "I feel really bad about taking your money like that, how would you like to make another bet? I'll bet you $200 that i can bite my left ear!"

The bartender, a little leary this time, checks out the man's ear and decides there's no way he could pull off his right ear and agrees. The man then pulls out his false teeth and clamps his teeth down on his left ear lobe.

"Oh my God, that's horrible!" the bartender says, "but a bets a bet." and pays the man.

About a half hour later the man comes back up to the bartender and says, "Bartender, I feel really horrible about taking your $400 dollars like that. How would you like to win your money back and then some? I'll bet you $500 that if you put a beer mug at the end of the bar, that i can stand up on this barstool, spin it, and urinate into that beer mug without missing a single drop!"

The bartender KNOWS that this isn't possible, so chuckling to himself, he agrees. Seconds later, the beer mug is at the end of the bar, the man is up on the bar stool spinning, and urine is flying EVERYWHERE. All over the bar, all over the bartenders face, in fact, everywhere but IN the beer mug!

"HA HA!" the bartender laughs, "that's 500 bucks you owe me!"

"Yes," says the man, "a bets a bet, i really thought I could do it..." The man pays the bartender and leaves.

The bartender is still laughing to himself as he's wiping his face and cleaning the bar. He notices a man who's sitting all alone in the corner with his head hung really low.

"Cheer up!" says the bartender "This is a lucky day! I just made all my money back AND another $100!"

"No, this is a horrible day for me" says the sad man, "That man that just left bet me $2000 that he could piss in your face and that you'd laugh"


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smiley 6.2 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 3,428 times

categories: bar, drinking





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