BTW - I know there are other versions of this joke, but I like my version better...
There was a little girl who was bored waiting for her family to come over for Thanksgiving, so she starts wandering around the house. She goes into her parent's bathroom and her father, who is shaving, says, "Shit!" The little girl asks, "What does shit mean?" and he says, "Um.. it means shaving cream." So the little goes over to her brother's room and while he is playing a video game, he says, "Bitches and bastards!" The little girl says, "What are bitches and bastards?" and her brother says, "Um... they are ladies and genltemen." The little girl then goes to her sister's room and she is on the phone with her boyfriend and she says, "Boobs and balls!" So the little girl says, "What are boobs and balls?" and the sister tells her, "Um... they are hats and coats. So the little girl goes downstairs and see's her mom carving the turkey. Her mom cuts herself and yells, "Fuck!" The little girl asks, "What does fuck mean?" so her mom says, "Um... it's a special carving technique."
The doorbell rings so the little girl goes to answer it, and she wants to use all of these fascinating new vocabulary words so she opens the door and says: "Hello bitches and bastards, may I take your boobs and balls? My father is in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mother's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
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