remember me

[new member] [forgot password]

  • G
  • PG
  • PG-13
  • R

Search Filter:

Jarod Kintz's Random thoughts

mark as unread

I'd like to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave. -Jarod Kintz

I remember my Grand pappy sat me down one day and said, "In life there is no compass, you have to find your own direction. Just don't use your penis as the guiding needle." And to this day I still wonder how he knew my penis was so thin. -Jarod Kintz

Someday I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it. -Jarod Kintz

If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them. -Jarod Kintz

I consider conversations with people to be mind exorcizes. But I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning. -Jarod Kintz

I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the news is too depressing. -Jarod Kintz

To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex, with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive. -Jarod Kintz

My girlfriend loves Sex In The City. Trouble is, I live in the country. -Jarod Kintz

When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance. -Jarod Kintz

I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for days. In fact, I'm still talking about her. -Jarod Kintz

The Mythical Mr. Boo just had his tear ducts surgically relocated to his groin, because the only time he cries is when he's standing in front of a urinal. -Jarod Kintz

When making love, you can really set the mood with ambient lighting. My girlfriend likes candles, where as I prefer the headlights of passing cars. -Jarod Kintz

I caught my girlfriend in bed with another man, and I got so angry I kicked him out of his own house and made him divorce her. -Jarod Kintz

To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle. -Jarod Kintz


How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By


smiley 6.4 R

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 1,473 times

categories: other





Save to List


Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel


Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel



User Comments Add Comment

showing 0 - 0 of 0 discussions       sort by: newest

CDYJM_Jarod Kintz's Random thoughts

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact