There was a guy who died and went to heaven. He noticed that heaven was full of clocks so he asked St. Peter, "what are the clocks for?" and St. Peter answered, "the clocks move everytime a person tells a lie."
So the guy looked around and noticed that George Bush's clock was missing.
"Where is the president's clock?" He asked.
St. Peter replied, "It's in hell. Satan's using it as a ceiling fan."