A married man goes to confessional and says to the priest, 'Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost.'
'What do you mean almost?' question the priest.
'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in,' explains the priest.
'You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'
The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then decides to leave.
The priest quickly runs over to the man and exclaims, 'I saw that... you didn't put any money in the poor box!'
'Well Father, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it's the same as putting it in!'
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