Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
My dad used to say "fight fire with fire" thats probably why he got kicked out of the fire brigade.
On the wall in the ladies room "my husband follows me everywhere". Just underneath it is writen "i do not".
I'd kill for a Nobel peace prize
42.7% of all satistics are made up on the spot
There were 2 peanuts walking along the road and one was a salted.
When everything's coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.
Those who believe in psycho-kinesis raise my hand.
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
What happens if you get scared half 2 death twice?
I couldnt repair your brakes so i made your horn louder.
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categories: word fun (puns, riddles)