Away Humor

mark as unread

A list of funny away messages for AIM instant messanger:

Eating: *munch* *munch* Mi mam meating mome mood might mow, mo moo mould me mise mo mot mahther meh. Mank Moo. *munch* *munch* *munch*munch* I'm eating. Leave a message and I'll talk to you later. *BurP!*

A very long time ago, hunger drove man crazy. Today it has driven me away from my computer...

Can't talk, I have to masticate.

Cleaning out the refrigerator with my mouth.

College food....Mmm Mmm PUKE!!!

Consuming food.

Damn I'm hungarian

Did I Eat Today?

Did you ever realize that whenever people tell you they are on a diet they are eating or getting ready to eat? Be Right Back, I'm On a Diet....

Directions: Pour milk, Devour, Repeat. (Go ahead, bond with your breakfast)

Don't bother me..... I'm eating.

Don't let hunger happen to you.

Dr. Pepper does make the world taste better! I should know! I just sprinkled some on the floor and BOY does it taste good!!!!

eat (Et), v.t. 1. to take into the mouth and swallow for nourishment; chew and swallow (food). 2. to consume gradually; wear away; corrode. 3. to ravage or devastate. 4. to make, as by gnawing... you get the idea, ttyl buh byes

Eat Spam Before It Eats YOU...

Eating dinner... Leave me something sweet for dessert.

Eating is an art and I'm Picasso... Excuse me while I go make a masterpiece.

Eating... because fat kids are harder to kidnap.

Exercising my taste buds.

Expanding my stomach.

Experimenting with the stove.

Fat people gettin' happy.

Feedin my face, But not at this place, Leave a message, Or I will erase!

Filling My Tummy With Something Very Yummy...

Filling up my tummy.

Food is good.

Food is great Give me food and win a date!

ANNOYING: *~~supercalafragilisticespialidoscious~lalalalaladum diddy dum dumdiddy~~*

By the time you read've aready read it!! Did you just say that they are making us think the thought that we thought before we even thunk it? Or maybe you just mis-understood and they really said that we are thinking about the thoughts of the person who is next to us and what they are thinking is what we just thunk?!?!?!?! WAIT!!! Now I am confused!!!! Why don't you try to sort out my many problems until I get back. ;)

Did you know by reading this message you have wasted about 5 secounds of your life?

Dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o)dupe do dupe do dupidy do(o.o) annoying, isn't it

Have you ever IMed someone just to see what their away message said?

Hello all. How are you? I'm obviously not here, but don't worry! Don't be sad - never fret! I'll be back. Maybe in a minute, maybe in two. I'm just taking a short break from this computer for what ever reason. So maybe while I'm gone, you should eat some cheese. Did you know cheese is good for you? Take French for example....the Bri kind....yummy yummy. well anyway. I am going to be back soon. very soon. and by the time your done reading this, ILL BE BACK! so hang tight...or hang ten? I'll be back! which may or may not be a good thing ;)

Hey! I am away right now! Just leave me a message after the beep...............................peep (nope, not right)......keep (nope, not right again)...leap (nope).....sleep (not right)....teep (is that even a w ord?)....weep (not yet)....creep (hey, that's u!)....neap (neap tide?)....meep (nope).....sweep (naw)..............deep (close)....seep (closer)....i guess my machine isn't workin.....i just wasted a whole lot of your time...haha!

Hey, I'm away right now. Wanna know what I'm doing? Well okay. Come closer...closer...closer... NO CLOSER!!!okay here goes...NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!Ha ha haaa!! You'll never know what I'm doing! Only I do!!!

I can't talk on the computer right know so if, well, actually, I CAN talk on the computer now. I mean I'm at the computer NOW, writing this away message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're reading it LATER, except for you I guess its NOW, like, when you're reading it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

I'm not you ugly. I'm not are ugly. Im not a ugly. Im not JACKASS ugly. Now read the 3rd word in each sentence .................................... You have just wasted 45 seconds and got insulted.

USELESS:*sings* "I don't wanna be a chicken....I don't wanna be a kiss my ass...I don't wanna be a chicken....I don't wanna be a kiss my ass..." Hey, Don't you see I am in the middle of something very important..Now leave your message and begone! *sings* "I don't wanna be a chicken....I don't wanna be a kiss my ass"

2/3 of the world's eggplant is from New Jersey

::Break dancing with my mini-me::

Chasing little green midgets in tu-tus around with a rabid turkey sandwich, be back when pigs fly.

Dont you wish you knew.

Fish on a stick or fish stick? U decide

Ghghghghghhghghghfhfhffhhfhffhhffjjffjjfjffjfjfjdkghdk sorry I'm playing chopsticks on the second row of my keyboard.

Goat fries with cheese!!! Always Good!

Hey,I'm a silly peanut who's gonna be turned into peanut butter, and I like noodles. What does this all mean? ...POOF...I'm gone! hopapotomus

Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?...Wait I just thought of something that would be good for making...ooooooooo something shiny!!!

How many toes does a fish have how many wings on a cow i w onderyup i wonder!

Hows your bowling arm!?!

I couldn't think of an away message.

I lost my pants and someone stole my underwear.

I see london, I see france. I see %n's underpants!

I'm after the monkeys who stole my underwear last night...I'll be back as soon as I run over them with my Barbie Car....

I'm running outside under my blanket pretending to be an undercover agent!!

I'm sittin on a couch eating a potato. Does that make me a couch potato?

I've got a lovely bunch of coconutsThere they are a- standing in a row...Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head...

If you are climbing up a tree and the power goes out how many toes can a monkey eat? Zero cats only have 1 tail.

If you're going down the highway, and you lose a foot, what day does the mad cow get drowned in the hogs shoe??

If you're in a hurricane and a tree falls, what sound does a cow make on the 4th of July in a blizzard?

If youre paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!!!

Killing gnomes with sporks!

Never walk with both hands in your pockets. You figure out why.

Not the leprachans again!!! They are back, they are back! Get away! Hide your pets! They are back!

Purple monkeys r coming.purple monkeys r coming ...HIDE....

Submitting my query.

The cheese sat next to the banana!!!!!

Television: ..

Takin advantage of a little invention called the Television

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRS_U_WXYZ... If your wondering where the T and V are, I'm watching it.

Beevis: I wonder wut they did before TV was invented! Butthead: TV has always been invented brb

Being entertained by a steady stream of electrons being shot onto a glass screen.

Buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy...If you guessed that I'm watching Buffy, you're right.

Channel surfing.

Did you know the average person watched 7 years of TV their whole life? Well I'm making Sure I don't miss out on a single minute!

Don't go away! I'll be right back at the next commercial break.

Don't you know what time it is? It's %t that means that my show is on ... now why would I waste my time online when I could be watching tv???

Dont you touch that remote, or mouse for that matter, I will be back at the next commercial break.

Excercise is good for you ... so thats what I'm doing right now... waliking from the computer to the TV.

Finding something better to do with my life a.k.a watchin tv

Finding something better to do with my life

a.k.a watchin tv

Getting my daily dose of vitamins T and V.

Glued to the TV. Literally.

Gone surfing with the TV.

Hey Guyz! Whats up? Im Chillin With Spongebob. He asked to watch TV so thats what where doin. We might go Jelly fishin Later if you wanna join call us...

How can anybody hate TV? It gives so much and asks for so little.

I am hypnotized by the back soon....But dont get your hopes up.

I am not available because I am watching movie on my computer game that takes up the whole screen.

I am now converting from human to couch potato.

I am sitting on the TV, watching the couch.

I am staring at a magical box in a land far far away... Actually, I'm just watching TV in the next room.

I am watching MTV thats seems more interesting than chatting with you no offence IM me later or leave a message

I fell onto my couch and was hypnotized by my T.V. If I ever get up again I might get back to you.

I got two letters for you: T and V.

i like to wach blues clues and think about you

I tried to resist, but I just couldn't resist the magical glow coming from the TV.

I was hungry so I went to the movies to get some candy and popcorn.

I went to the movies; I'll be back when I run out of soda and popcorn.

I will be right back, the TV isn't going to watch itself.

I'll be right back after these messages...

I'm away talking to the television only because the fridge is mad at me.

I'm doing somethig much more productive than sitting in front of the computer screen. I'm sitting in front of the TV.

go ahead and use these! i dont mind! buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy buffy...


How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By


smiley 4.7 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 2,621 times

categories: other





Save to List


Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel


Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel



User Comments Add Comment

showing 0 - 0 of 0 discussions       sort by: newest

CDCVC_Away Humor

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact