Q: At lunch, what did Obi-Wan say to Luke?
A: "Use the forks, Luke."
Q: Did you hear the one about the two kids who tried to kiss in the fog?
A: They mist!
Q: Did you know there are three types of people?
A: Those who can count, and those who can't!
Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?
A: He felt his presents!
Q: How did the lumberjack use the computer?
A: He logged on!
Q: How do mad scientists freshen their breath?
A: With experi-mints!
Q: How do wealthy people dance?
Q: How do short people like to travel?
A: In mini-vans!
Q: How do you find King Arthur in the dark?
A: With a knight light.
Q: How does the barber cut the Moon's hair?
A: E-clipse it!
Q: How does the barber do his work so fast?
A: With short cuts!
Q: How is an engaged woman like a telephone?
A: They both have rings!
Q: What did the cop say to the bad popsicle?
Q: Did you ever see the movie "Constipated?"
A: It never came out!
Q: Can you use green, pink, and yellow in a sentence?
A: When the phone goes green green, I pink it up, and say yellow!
Q: Did you take a bath this morning?
A: No. Is there one missing?
Q: How do you get an alien baby to sleep?
A: You rock-et!
Q: How do you fix a car in Scotland?
A: With Scotch tape!
Q: How do you get rid of a boomerang?
A: Throw it down a one way street!
Q: What did one elevator say to the other?
A: "I think I'm coming down with something!"
Q: What did one hammer say to the other hammer?
A: "I broke a nail!"
Q: What did one penny say to the other penny?
A: We make perfect cents!
Q: What did Snow White say while she waited for her photos?
A: "Some day my prints will come!"
Q: What did the alien say to the gas pump?
A: "Get your finger out of your ear when I'm talking to you!"
Q: Why were the middle ages so dark?
A: Because there were a lot of knights!
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A zebra with chicken pox!
Q: "Doctor, doctor I feel like some curtains."
A: "Then pull yourself together!"
Q: How did the boy get Egyptian flu?
A: He caught it from his mummy!
Q: How does the Eskimo mend his house?
A: With iglue!
Q: What can you catch, but not throw?
A: Your breath!
Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Between you and me... something smells!
Q: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny!"
A: "Then why aren't you laughing?"
~~Thank you for reading all of my jokes. More will soon come.
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