33 great jokes!

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Q: At lunch, what did Obi-Wan say to Luke?

A: "Use the forks, Luke."

Q: Did you hear the one about the two kids who tried to kiss in the fog?

A: They mist!

Q: Did you know there are three types of people?

A: Those who can count, and those who can't!

Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

A: He felt his presents!

Q: How did the lumberjack use the computer?

A: He logged on!

Q: How do mad scientists freshen their breath?

A: With experi-mints!

Q: How do wealthy people dance?

A: Check-to-check!

Q: How do short people like to travel?

A: In mini-vans!

Q: How do you find King Arthur in the dark?

A: With a knight light.

Q: How does the barber cut the Moon's hair?

A: E-clipse it!

Q: How does the barber do his work so fast?

A: With short cuts!

Q: How is an engaged woman like a telephone?

A: They both have rings!

Q: What did the cop say to the bad popsicle?

A: Freeze!

Q: Did you ever see the movie "Constipated?"

A: It never came out!

Q: Can you use green, pink, and yellow in a sentence?

A: When the phone goes green green, I pink it up, and say yellow!

Q: Did you take a bath this morning?

A: No. Is there one missing?

Q: How do you get an alien baby to sleep?

A: You rock-et!

Q: How do you fix a car in Scotland?

A: With Scotch tape!

Q: How do you get rid of a boomerang?

A: Throw it down a one way street!

Q: What did one elevator say to the other?

A: "I think I'm coming down with something!"

Q: What did one hammer say to the other hammer?

A: "I broke a nail!"

Q: What did one penny say to the other penny?

A: We make perfect cents!

Q: What did Snow White say while she waited for her photos?

A: "Some day my prints will come!"

Q: What did the alien say to the gas pump?

A: "Get your finger out of your ear when I'm talking to you!"

Q: Why were the middle ages so dark?

A: Because there were a lot of knights!

Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: A zebra with chicken pox!

Q: "Doctor, doctor I feel like some curtains."

A: "Then pull yourself together!"

Q: How did the boy get Egyptian flu?

A: He caught it from his mummy!

Q: How does the Eskimo mend his house?

A: With iglue!

Q: What can you catch, but not throw?

A: Your breath!

Q: What did one eye say to the other?

A: Between you and me... something smells!

Q: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny!"

A: "Then why aren't you laughing?"

~~Thank you for reading all of my jokes. More will soon come.


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smiley 6.1 G

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 2,910 times

categories: celebrities, entertainment, people





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CD3FW_33 great jokes!

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