Fred is playing golf when he gets hit on the head with a stray ball. When he wakes up he is at the Pearly gates of Heaven.
St. Peter meets him here with a confused look on his face. "You're not on my list" Peter says, "You must be for Downstairs!"
Fred is shocked and asks for another chance. "If you let me go back to earth, I'll live a virtuous life, I won't drink, smoke or have sex any more!"
St. Peter doesn't want to do the paperwork for a transfer to Hell so he agrees and the man is sent back to earth.
A year later Fred is hit by another golf ball and wakes up back at the gates.
St. Peter greets him. "Well, Fred, how has it been going?"
"Well," Fred replies, "I have totally given up drinking and haven't had a cigarette since the last time we met."
"Excellent" says St. Peter. "But what about the sex?"
"It was all going well, Peter, until last week. My girlfriend was bent over the freezer and I just had to come up from behind and give her one!"
Shocked, St. Peter cries, " They won't like that in Heaven!"
Fred replies, "They didn't like it much in the supermarket either!"