Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because ur boyfriend thinks I am.
There used to be men on this earth, what happened to them?
I'm not a ditz, I just lack common sense.
I may not be a blonde, but I sure am dumb!
No, occifer, there's no blood in my alcohol system!
I don't have an attitude problem, it's supposed to be like this!
Whoever said money can't buy happiness wasn't shopping at the right malls!
If practice makes perfect and there's no such thing as perfect, why practice?
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I know I'm not perfect, but I'm so close it scares me.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on.
I'm not weird, I'm gifted!
The next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water.
I ran into my ex the other day, put it in reverse, and hit him again!
As an older, more mature young adult, your job is to make fun of the little kids.
Click your heels together and say, "I need a life, I need a life!"
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Never fight with an ugly person, they have nothing to lose.
Your village just called, they're missing their idiot.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
I don't swim in your toilet so don't pee in my pool.
Roses are red, violets are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?
One day your prince will come... Mine just got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions!
Everyone's entitled to be stupid but you're abusing the privilege.
I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive, then I realized that suicide's a crime!
There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
Hi, I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. So leave a message and if I don't call back, it's you!