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Dievorce (no it's not a typo)

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce"

The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend,and she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.. Up to 60. "I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph.

"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!" The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need," she says. "Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."


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smiley 8.4 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 37,608 times

categories: sex, sexuality





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User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 10 of 10 discussions       sort by: newest

+1 thumb down thumb up
by Joel E. 1+ years ago

Cops investigate, find out he was about to divorce her so she slammed into the bridge to kill him. Yea, she's really smart.... Sometimes I hate when my logic ruins jokes for me.

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0 thumb down thumb up
by Josh B. 1+ years ago

i wouldve jumped out the car like in Saints Row

Reply to Josh B.'s comment
+8 thumb down thumb up
by Jack R. 1+ years ago

What A Shame,Shouldn't Of Pushed His Luck Too Far... Poor Poor Man... That Woman Has Got Brains!

Reply to Jack R.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -1 thumb down thumb up
by Jacob R. 1+ years ago

im guessing poster of joke is a woman because the first way i heard it it was the other way around

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0 thumb down thumb up
by tyrone b. 1+ years ago


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+2 thumb down thumb up
by Mr. Smith S. 1+ years ago

In the end a man is killed by his wife's jealousy and her lust for revenge

Reply to Mr. Smith S.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by Antonio B. 1+ years ago

lol lmao

Reply to Antonio B.'s comment
+5 thumb down thumb up
by Mahbuba C. 1+ years ago

good job, smart wife

Reply to Mahbuba C.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by aisha j. 1+ years ago


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+5 thumb down thumb up
by hitman .. 1+ years ago


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