Blonde One Liners and Riddles

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1. How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it....with a thought! 2. How can you tell a smart blonde from a dumb blonde....the smart blondes have dark roots. 3. Why don't blondes eat pickles...because they get their heads stuck in the jar. 4. Why did the blonde get fired from the M & M factory...she threw out all of the W's. 5. How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday...tell her a joke on Friday. 6. What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt...brain tumor. 7. Why don't blondes make kool-aid...can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packages. 8. What do you call a blonde with half a brain...gifted. 9. Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes...stands for 10. Toes G o In First. How many blondes does it take to change a tire .... 5--2 to get sodas, 2 to cry and 1 to call daddy. 11. How do you give a blonde a brain transplant .... blow in her ear. 12. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common .... they're both empty from the neck up. 13. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear .... thanks for the refill. 14. What's the mating call of a brunette .... Is that darn blonde gone yet? 15. Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink .... that's where you wash vegetables. 16. How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle .... shine a light in her ear. 17. What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you can park in handicapped zones. 18. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you .... pull the pin and throw it back. 19. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall .... to see what was on the other side. 20. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb .... 6 - 2 to read the instructions, 1 to find the switch, 2 to stand on, 1 to screw the bulb. 21. How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb .... two .... one to hold the diet pepsi and one to call daaaady. 22. The blonde stayed up all night to see where the sun went .... it finally dawned on her. 23. Brunette to the blonde .... Awww, look at the dead birdie .... the blonde stopped, looks up and says, "where"? 24. How do you know a blonde has been working at your computer .... there is "white-out" all over the screen. 25. How can you tell if another blonde been using the computer .... there's writing on the "white-out". 26. Why do blondes wear ear muffs? .... to avoid the draft. 27. What did the blonde visiting O.J. think this was .... spilled finger nail polish. 28. What is the blonde doing when she hold her hands over her ears .... trying to hold on to a thought. 29. Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? .... because it said "concentrate". 30. Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet .... she thought it was diet "coke". 31. Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering .... the noise gave her a headache. 32. Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips .... from trying to blow out lightbulbs. 33. Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar .... she heard that the drinks were on the house. 34. Why don't blondes have elevator jobs .... they don't know the route. 35. Why does blondes have elevator jobs .... they like going up and down. 36. Why do blondes work seven days a week .... so you don't have to retrain them on Monday. 37. How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way to work .... she opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it 38. How did the blonde die drinking milk.......the cow sat down 39. Why don't blondes make chocolate chip cookies .... it takes to long to get the shells off the M & M's 40. Why can't the blonde keep a job at the M & M factory .... she keeps throwing away the W's 41. What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts .... change 42. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies .... 10 .... one to mix the dough and nine to sort out the W's 43. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies .... 3 .... one to make batter and two to peel the M & Ms. 44. How can you tell if a blonde has baked chocolate cookies .... there are M & M hulls all over the floor 45. How can you tell if a blonde is going to back chocolate cookies .... she is throwing out all of the W's 46. What is written at the bottom of a blonde's fishing pond .... bring your own fish 47. Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool .... no smoking 48. what does a blond do when someone says its chili outside .... she grabs a bowl 49. what do you call a blonde with one brain cell .... gifted 50. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells .... pregnant 51. What is a blond with brunette died hair .... artificial intelligence 52. Why did the blond stare at the orange juice .... it said concentrate 53. Why Can't Blondes get "mad Cow Disease .... you can't get it twice 54. How do you sink a submarine full of blondes .... knock on the door 55. What stops then goes, stops then goes .... A blonde at a blinking red light 56. What do you call two blondes in the freezer .... frosted flakes 57. Pepsi came out with a new can just for blondes .... It has "open other end" printed on the bottom. 58. Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears .... they're refuelling 59. Why do blondes comb their bangs strait up .... They don't want anything going over their head 60. How did the blonds brain cell die .... alone 61. What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios .... Hey, Look!! A bunch of doughnut seeds 62. What do you call a smart blond .... Labrador 63. How many blonde jokes are there? .... none, they're all true 64. Why don't blonds ever become pharmacists .... It's too hard to fit the bottle in the typewriter 65. Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio .... she didn't want one for nights 66. Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet .... she was last years hide and seek winner 67. Why are there blonde jokes .... to make brunettes jealous 68. Why doesn't a blonde make Kool Aid .... couldn't get 8 glasses of water in the little packet 69. What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you can park in the handicapped zone 70. What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under water .... a blonde trying to put it out 71. What do you call a blonde with a brand new P.C .... a dumb terminal 72. How do you call a blond .... you don't .... you whistle 73. What does a blond say when she see's a banana skin on the side walk .... am going to fall again 74. I'm a blonde and still like blonde jokes .... must have been written by a true blonde 75. Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand .... so brunettes can understand them 76. How did the blond burn her ear .... the phone rang while she was ironing 77. What's a blond between 2 brunette .... a mental block 78. Why do blondes wear their hair up .... to catch anything that goes over their heads 79. Why does a blonde smile when there is lightening .... she thinks she is getting her picture taken 80. There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but they could not get in .... the sign said, "must be 18 to enter" 81. How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb .... only one .... she holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her 82. What do you call 3 blondes that walk into a building .... beats me .... you would think one of them would have seen it 83. How do you drown a blonde .... glue a penny to the bottom of a pool 84. Why are there no brunette jokes .... because blondes would have to think them up 85. How does a blonde make instant pudding .... places the box in the microwave, and looks for the "instant pudding setting 86. How do you confuse a blonde, put three shovels against the wall and tell her .... to take her "PICK" 87. How do you drive a blonde crazy .... put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner 88. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead .... trying to make up her mind 89. What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes .... interpreter 90. What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box .... a case of empties 91. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink .... that is where you clean all vegetables 92. Why did it take the blonde 7 days to drive from St. Louis to Chicago .... she kept seeing signs that read .... stop clean bath room 93. A blonde went to the doctor's with burnt feet, "how did you do it" asked the doctor" .... "cooking soup .... the instructions said "open can .... stand in boiling water for 7 minutes 94. Why can't a blonde make ice cubes .... Don't know the recipe 95. How do you get rid of blondes .... form a circle, give each a gun and tell them they are a firing squad 96. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow .... to get chocolate milk


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smiley 5.1 PG

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categories: blondes ethnic, race, international





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