A man walks into a bar (haha) and sees a top bird sitting on her own. Thinking quickly he buys the bit of totty a drink (archers and lemonade or something) and goes over and talks to the bird. "Helllooow," he says "can I show you a little something?" The woman looks him up and down. "Okay," she says "What is it you want to show me?" The man then rolls up his sleeve and points to his watch. "You see this watch?" he says. "It enables me to tell anything about the person I am talking to without asking them a single question." "Rubbish," the woman replies, "your watch can tell you anything about me." "Right!" the man says, and he stares intently at his watch for a few seconds, "I can tell you haven't got any knickers on." "Sorry," the woman replies "your watch must be broken. I have got knickers on." The man looks at his watch in confussion, then gradually a smile of recognition spreads accross his face. "Oh, that's right," he says, "I put it ten minutes fast this morning!"
BOM BOM !