Hillbilly Logic

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Billy Joe and Jim Bob have decided that it is time to improve their lifestyle and go back to school. They have taken the placement examinations, and are patiently waiting for the results. Finally, the counselor calls Jim Bob into her office.

"Congratulations, Jim Bob!" she says. "You have been accepted, and this semester you will be taking arithmetic and logic."

"Well," says Jim Bob, "I knows what 'rithmetic is, but what's this here Logic?"

"Here, I'll give you an example." says the counselor. "Do you own a weed-eater?"

"Why, yes Ma'am, I do."

"Then by using logic, I could deduce that you have a yard."

"I sure do! I've got me a big 'ole yard!"

"And if you have a yard, it stands to reason that you probably have a house."

"Yes Ma'am! It's a nice little house, and I'm right proud of it."

"And if you have a house, I'd be willing to bet that you're a married man."

"I sure am, to a pretty little gal at that!"

"And seeing that you're married, you are most likely heterosexual."

"Ain't no likely about about that, I am most certainly hetero-sexual! Say, you can tell all that about me just by using this logic stuff?"

"That's right," says the counselor.

"I think I'm gonna like this class!" says Jim Bob as he runs out to tell Billy Joe.

"Guess what Billy Joe?" says Jim Bob, "I got accepted, an I'm gonna be taking 'rithmetic and logic!"

"What's this here logic stuff?" says Billy Joe.

"Here, I'll show ya!" says Jim Bob. "You got a weed eater, dontcha Billy Joe?"

"Uh, no."

Jim Bob eyes his friend suspiciously. "Yer one of them queer folk, ain't ya..."


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smiley 6.8 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

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