1. If a cop pulls you over, the 13 year old girl in the back is probably naked.
2. Friends call you in jail. Good friends visit you in jail. Best friends sit next to you in jail saying: "That was freaking awesome!"
3. Smoke alarms are not cooking timers.
4. Some people are like slinkies. They bore you at first, but it brings a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
5. If you find a chalk body drawing (as in a murder case) say "So thats where i left him!"
6. Act retarded at a public pool. While in the pool, secretly poor orange juice in the water and say "Duuuuuuhhh... i make lemonade!" Proceed in drinking the yellow water.
7. Repeat number 6 when on a water slide.
8. Tell a cop that your 44. Magnum pwns his P2K pistol.
9. Ask an obviosly fat lady if it is a boy or a girl and see what happens.
10. Repeat number 9 with a fat man. Then act retarded.
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