Three men died and went to hell. There they met the devil who offered them a chance to get sent to heaven.
"I will give you three tests, whoever completes the most tests will go to heaven" said the devil
all of the men agreed to this, seeing it was their only way out of hell.
"For your first test you will have to make me scream" says the devil
the first man thinks this over long and hard and ends up cutting off the devils tail. The devil doesnt even flinch. The second man spends a little bit longer, and then cuts off the devils head, again the devil doesnt flinch. The third man spends no time at all thinking. He walks right up to the devil and asks for a sewing needle. The devil gives it to him. The third man takes the needle and shoves it into the devils balls.
"ahhhh shit!!!" yells the devil
"ok one test down and the third guys is in the lead" says the devil "For your second test you will have to make me angry"
"This will be easy" thinks the first guy. "you're stupid" he says. The devil laughs " is that the best you got!"
the second guy thinks for a little while, then says "God is better than you, he is everything you wish you could be" he says. " are you kidding, i get the pleasure of torturing all the bad people in the history of the world, god doesnt get to do that" says the devil, chuckling.
The third guy doesnt hessitate at all " haha i poked you in the BALLS, what tiny BALLS you have, i always thought you would be more of a MAN!!". instantly the devil turns red with anger
"Ok 2 tests down, the 3rd guy is still in the lead, if he gets this last one he will go to heaven" says the devil "For the third test, you must make me say no"
The first guy asks "Will you go out with me?". "yes" says the devil.
The second guy asks "Will you marry me?". "yes" says the devil.
"Can I poke you in the balls again?" asks the third guy. "NO!!!" screams the devil.
The Third guy went to Heaven.
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