Alternate meanings for common words

mark as unread

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

01. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

02. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

03. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

04. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

05. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

06. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

07. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

08. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

09. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with 'Yiddishisms'.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


How funny is this joke, video, picture?


smiley 5.6 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 3,238 times

categories: word fun (puns, riddles)





Save to List


Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel


Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel



User Comments Add Comment

showing 0 - 0 of 0 discussions       sort by: newest

CB8LF_Alternate meanings for common words

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact