1) Pretend that you are crippled in the lunch line 2) When you get out of the line, walk normally 3) Pay for your lunch in pennies 4) Make them count it twice 5) Purposely leave one out so that you can accuse them of counting wrong the first time 6) Put the extra in the second time 7) Keep deciding to grab a different seat 8) accidentally drop sticky crud in peoples chair when they get up 9) Sit with people that you dont know and that dont know you and insist on calling them Bob 10) Touch them 11) Give indication to all of his friends that he smells bad 12) Tap him on the opposite shoulder when there is no one there 13) Turn your head and whistle when he looks your way 14) Crawl under the table with your tray, and when asked what you are doing, hiss, back up, and pet your food saying, My Precious 15) Pretend that you are being attacked by the food 16) Fight back, throwing food everywhere 17) When the room is quiet and everyone is looking, yell I WON!!! 18) Begin singing your victory song and dance along 19) 2 words: FOOD FIGHT!! 20) Throw your food at the teachers first so that they cant see who started it 21) Throw anything that solid enough to throw, yet is mushy and goes SPLAT! 22) Jump down on the floor, and begin screaming, SO MANY VOICES!!!!!!! 23) dictate what the teachers can and cannot eat 24) Continually tell people that they are eating wrong (example: STOP! Youre holding your spork WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!!) 25) Take the fat peoples lunches away and say, No food for you! 26) Give the extra food to the REALLY skinny people 27) Give the jocks some sugar pills whispering loud enough for others to hear, your steroids 28) Walk by a couple while they are talking, and say, hes gay 29) Or, hes straight if the situation is so 30) AND the last and most fun thing to do in a cafeteria is to lie in wait under the table, until someone sits down. Then grab their legs. And scream. LOUD. And repeat.
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