1. Ask the cashiers where they get the red vests.
2. Ask a random passerby for 20 $.
3. Look around aimlessly and when an employee tries to help you scream at the top of your lungs "OH NO! NOT YOU AGAIN!!!!"
4. Look around the motor department muttering to yourself about what would work best to kill a cashier.
5. Pretend you're Elmer Fudd.
6. Get a hat and write 'tips' on it and start singing loudly.
7. When someone tips you, start singing I LOVE YOU, CUZ U TIPPED ME WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU, WON'T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TO!
8. Chew on a carrot and hop around the store.
9. Try to stuff things into your pockets when employees are around and mutter that your pockets aren't big enough.
10. Sit at a cashier station and pretend to check people in.
11. In the electronics department, pound on the doors screaming "I'll bust you out!!!"
12. Go to a regular door (not automatic) and pound on it screaming "LET ME OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!"
13. If you are a man walk around the store with a purse.
14. If you are a woman, go through the men's department saying "This would look great on me!"
15. When an employee asks you if you would rather go to the women's department, say "Just what are you trying to say?"
16. If they call security, say "NO! Don't make me go back there!!!"
17. If they ask you if you are okay, say "Yes, the nice men in white suits said that I was."
18. If they ask who the nice men in white suits were, just smile.
19. Go over to the food department and scream ITS ALL POISENED!!!
20. Go into the deoderant department and, when there is a bunch of people there, say "I don't know why this stuff is so popular. I don't wear any."
21. When people walk away from you, run after them.
22. Pick out a person and follow them through the store.
23. If you find a stray cart, try to hit the person you are following with it.
24. If you don't find a cart, take random things off the shelves and throw that at them.
25. If they tell you to stop, just smile.
26. Whistle into their ear.
27. If you find balloons, find an unsuspecting person and pop a balloon in their ear.
28. If you find confetti, run through the store throwing it on people singing "Happy Birthday to you!"
29. Get some flowers, cry and pretend to win an oscar.
30. Get some gum and chew really loudly in someone's ear.
31. Go up to someone and say O my gosh, you're really ugly aren't you.
32. Try to run people down with shopping carts. Extra points for kids.
33. When you are finished with your gum, stick it in someone's hair.
34. Walk around the store singing 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' over and over.
35. Walk around the store muttering to yourself.
36. Put on a dress and walk around the store doing the Can-Can. Extra points if you are a man.
37. If they try to throw you out, say "No, not the light! It burns!"
38. Pretend you are gay.
39. Skip while holding hands with someone.
40. Get a broom and fly around the store.
41. Find someone and say to them "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! *evil laugh*"
42. Stalk someone.
also go to the bathroom door and hollar are you done yet?
you forgot: create a long line to nowhere (you need friends for this), and see how long it takes people to twig (10 points for evey person who joins the line)
Ok, these are usually funny, but this one is too mean. And it would get you arrested. For example, the shoplifting one. That could be replaced by "Go around the store and pretend to try to shoplift really large things. For example, a chair, a bicycle, a coat rack. Then, mutter your pockets arent big enough.