There were these two guys who were in the middle of the woods. One of them had to go to the bathroom really bad, but neither of the men had any paper or anything. And the guy that had to go refused to used leaves.
So the one guy says to the one that has to take a crap, "Hey, don't you have a dollar?" And the guy that has to take the crap says, "Oh yeah, I will use that." So he runs a far distance into the woods and doesn't come back for what seems like forever.
So finally, the guy comes back and has crap all over his hands, The other guy asks, "What happened to you?" The other guy says, "It sure is hard to wipe your ass with three quarters, two dimes and a nickel."