T'was the night before christmas and all through the house, everyone felt shitty, even the mouse.
Mum at the whore house and dad smoking grass. My brother settling down for a nice peice of ass.
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter. I sprung from my bed to see whats the matter.
Then out on the lawn I saw a big dick. I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell. I knew in a moment the fucker had fell.
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer, and a big rubber cock for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart. The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart!
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight. "Go fuck yourselves have a hell of a night!".