A human couple met up with an alien coule and started discusing various topics. Somehow they brought up the question of how they each have sex. So to resolve this question each couple switched partners for the night.
In the Martian man's room the earth woman began to strip and so did the Martian man. The earth woman then said aloud that she will not have fun becasue the Martian man's dick was only 1" long. The Martian man said, "That can be changed just tap me on the head 9 times. The woman did so and his dick grew 9 inches. Now the dick was 9" long and half a centimeter thin. The man then said, "That's ok. Just pull my ears. The woman did so and the dick widened 3".
The next morning the couples met back with each other. The earth man asked his wife how it went. She said that it was exellent. She then asked her husband how it was and he said it sucked. His wife asked why and he said, "Because that Martian lady kept tapping my heads and pulling my ears!"