The Accident Report

mark as unread

Here follows a tale of an accident report form filed by a bricklayer:

"I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You ask for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I was working alone on the roof of a six-story building. When I completed my work I found I had some bricks left over which later were found to weigh 240lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135lbs.

Needless to say i proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel which was proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep in to the pulley.

Fortunately I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly on to the rope. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel . Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

I began a rapid descent. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when i fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay in pain on the pile of bricks I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its rapid descent back towards me....."

Rate

How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By

Stats

smiley 7.4 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 26,188 times

categories: sex, sexuality work, school

close

Permalink

Permalink:

close

Save to List

Loading...

Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel

saving...

Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel

saving...

joke

User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 3 of 3 discussions       sort by: newest

+1 thumb down thumb up
by Mark S. 1+ years ago

Zoe S, you are a retard. I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be outside in public without supervision.

Show 1 replies to this comment

0 thumb down thumb up
by Zoe S. 1+ years ago

i dont get it!!! reply and tell me wut it means!

Show 1 replies to this comment

0 thumb down thumb up
by christian r. 1+ years ago

hahaha

Reply to christian r.'s comment
C7XC_The Accident Report

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact Funny.com

JD2atE7pgVBdxAAA7xVZU0
0