Proof that you are a well-bred red neck:
1. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
2. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
3. If your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.
4. If you thought the Unabomber was a wrestler.
5. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table...
6. If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the K-Mart.
7. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
8. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth of improvement.
9. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
10. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it hangin?"
11. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
12. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.
13. If somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.
14. If you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.
15. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.