Been Out Of College Too Long When...

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You know you've been out of college too long when...

- Your potted plants stay alive.

- Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

- You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

- 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

- You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.

- You carry an umbrella.

- You watch the Weather Channel.

- Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.

- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

- You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

- Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

- You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

- You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.

- Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

- You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

- Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.

- MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.

- You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

- A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

- You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

- Grocery lists are longer than macaroni and cheese, Diet Pepsi and Ho-ho's.

- "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."

- Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

- You don't get liquored up at home, to save money, before going to a bar.

- It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.


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smiley 7.4 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 11,833 times

categories: work, school





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