A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 straight shots of vodka. Then he slams them down one after another.
Then he quickly orders four more. The bartender appreciates the business, but is also a bit concerned.
"Hey dude, take it easy. What seems to be the problem today?"
The guy answers, "I went on a week-long business trip, and had to leave my wife alone with our German Shepard. I've had my suspicions about my wife and the dog, so I hung a weight from the bottom of the bedspring just above a bowl of cream."
The bartender nods sympathetically and pours the guy another. "So you came home and found cream on the weight?"
The guy downs his fourth vodka and says, "It's worse than that. The dog's got rug burns and the cream had been churned into butter."