Things to Do at a Beach

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* Throw your beach ball at the people in front of you, or next to you, then complain that they were supposed to throw it back.

* Go to inches into the water then scream below you, "Carol!? Stay calm!"

* Bring a picnic basket full of small foods, sniff each piece, then throw it behind you.

* Go near strangers in the water and say to them "My bubble was bigger than your."

* Take a raft, and sit on the shore. When someone walks by you, roll off into the inch-deep water, and yell to them "I was just settling in!"

* Talk in an accent that no one can understand, and ask people, "Scuze me, have you seen a suitcase of money lying around?"

* In fresh water say, "Is that a shark? Oh, no, wait, that's just the life-guard."

* Say to the life guard, "Isn't my son a great swimmer?" Point to no where and then yell "Oh my god, Timmy!"

* Swim in the sand.

* When the waves come, say, "Here come the munchies."

* Say to someone, "I'm a tourist, but isn't this the beach that 4 teenagers died of toxic waste poisoning?"

* Introduce yourself to the waves, then start crying when they crash on the shore.

* Bump into someone underwater, then say, "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Keep doing this to them.

* (Do this one only if you're with a friend, and you both know about it). One person goes into the water, then the other one yells, "No! Don't walk into the pool of diseases!" If people start to look at you, say, "Oh, no. Don't worry, it's just a game we play. Course, it was only a game to little Johnny, too. Well, have fun at the beach everyone!"

* Bring different language dictionaries, and start talking to the water looking at the dictionaries sometimes. When it doesn't respond, get another one and say, "So what language do you speak?"

* Bring a long-john with you to the water, drop it, and yell, "Help Johnny! Save my little dough-boy. He's too young to die!!!"


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