Actual Label Instructions

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In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:

1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Frito's - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special?!?)

12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to what?...use in outer space?)

17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)

20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST. ( OK lets eat it frozen!!!)

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.(Kids no more driving)

26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)

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showing 1 - 15 of 15 discussions       sort by: newest

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by John T. 11 months ago

http://www.rip-factor.com/jokes/joke0121.html

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by tom j. 1+ years ago

i am glad to share a amazing dat-ing si-te-- {{blackwhitemingle.c0m }}--with you, the biggest and best club for single and their admirers. Any single is welcome,welcome to join and create your profile then you can take part in the fantasy party!

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by dara l. 1+ years ago

i havent laughed so much in my life.....no.20 i dont know what kind of idiot would stop it with their hands. by the way check out.......the blonde who walked into a pizza shop its so funny

Reply to dara l.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by Brandon S. 1+ years ago

20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?) I thought about it, and cried at the pain that guy felt, while laughing at his stupidity.

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by j r. 1+ years ago

we are Soooooooooooooooooooooooo f**ked..

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+3 thumb down thumb up
by Marie D. 1+ years ago

funnyfunnyfunnyfunny

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by Naveed S. 1+ years ago
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by Naveed S. 1+ years ago
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by Jade R. 1+ years ago

23 LOL

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+6 thumb down thumb up
by matt c. 1+ years ago

peanuts are actually not nuts, they are legumes

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+2 thumb down thumb up
by Jess A. 1+ years ago

hahahahaha some people are so simple it's unbelievable!!! Fuckin A mate (Y)

Reply to Jess A.'s comment
+5 thumb down thumb up
by kaitlyn m. 1+ years ago

lol #10 how do u do that?

Reply to kaitlyn m.'s comment
+4 thumb down thumb up
by Destiny Ann d. 1+ years ago

i hade a cousin once..he had no scares until he ironed his underwear on to his wevos

Reply to Destiny Ann d.'s comment
+7 thumb down thumb up
by Frank P. 1+ years ago

Companies would do anything to protect themselves from being sued...including putting stupid instructions and labels on their product.

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by ali n. 1+ years ago

18 one idiot sued a company for not putting contains nut ( it was peanuts and raisins)

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C5TLU_Actual Label Instructions

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