25. Keep dropping your spoon whenever your waitress is near and ask her every time for a new spoon.
24. Complain that you don't like ice in your drink and when your waitress brings it back ice-free change your mind about the type of drink you want. ( do this with your food too)
23. Keep flicking a spoonfuls of mashed potatoes to the table behind you.
22. Walk to a table of newcomers pretending to be their waitress while writing on an invisible notepad.
21. When the waitress is taking your order, keep changing your mind.
20. Ask the ingredients that all of your food is made out of, interrupting with casual phrases such as, "Oh, that gives me a rash,", or, "Every time I have that I get the runs, usually lasts for hours," (say these loudly)
19. two words: burp loudly
18. Stick carrot sticks up your nose and then casually start eating the rest of your meal.
17. Eat all of the extra things on the table, (breadsticks, crackers, rolls, etc.) without ordering anything.
16. While coming from the bathroom, drag a piece of toilet paper behind you stuck to the bottom of your shoe and then leave it in front of an occupied table.
15. Pass in front of a person w/ a steak and say loudly (while looking directly at the steak), "Bessie! Bessie! Is that you!"
14. Hide behind your menu and then suspiciously glance over it every few seconds.
13. Pretend to "accidentally" spit your gum onto another person's plate and then politely ask them, "Could you get that for me?"
12. Walk to an occupied table, take their ketchup and then walk away.
11. When the restaurant is busy, ask the waitress to look up, and when she does snap her picture (do this to several people).
10. Bring in a couple stuffed animals and sit them across from you talking animatedly to them while eating.
9. Furiously hit your head muttering, " Shut up voices, shut up!"
8. When you pay the bill, say to the person, " Those t-bones sure filled me up! Good thing there was a 2 for 1 special on them!" and when the employee denies this special say, "I thought the customer was always right?"
7. (while eating spaghetti) say "Ewww! Is that a maggot!"
6. Get down on your hands and knees looking for change under tables and when you find a coin shout "Treasure!"
5. Talk in a different accent every time you talk to your waitress.
4. Pretend your deaf and make up phony sign language.
3. Bring in your own wine and candles and have a romantic candlelit dinner w/ a teddy bear.
2. Sit yourself into a booth or table that sits 6-8 people and don't order anything. sit there until your kicked out.
1. Come into a restaurant repeatedly, order something, and then walk out w/ a big group of people so you don't have to pay the bill.
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