A nun one night enters a liquor store and asks the keeper of the shop for some alcohol. "I can't. It's just not right. It goes against my conscience and religious beliefs to sell booze to a nun." he says. "But I must have it for medicinal proposes for the mother superior," she tells him pleadingly.
"Sister, I just can't. Don't ask this of me, please," he begs. "I must, it's our last resort to help the good mother with this personal problem. A sample of your brew might be the cure." she tries to explain.
"And you swear this is for nothing more than medicinal proposes?" he asks. "I lay to you the promise that is true on the cross of Christ," she swears with hand over heart.
"All right, you can have the smallest bottle in the shop." he cedes. "That is more than enough, thank you, and god bless." She buys the stuff and leaves.
Later that night, after closing shop and heading home through the park, the keeper runs into the little nun, sloshed out of her mind on a park bench. "Sister, you lied to me, you swore to Christ that the booze I sold you would be for medicinal proposes for mother superior," he said, hurt and confused.
"I dina ly, it iss for the motfer sup-(hichup)-erior. Maybe she'll quit a bitchen and finnally shit (burp) when she sees me."