How Many Republicans Does It Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?
Four hundred and seventy one.
12 to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb,
23 to deregulate the light bulb industry,
16 to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D,
34 to cut the marginal tax rate on high-wattage light bulbs,
9 to threaten trade sanctions if Germany and Japan don't start buying more 110-volt bulbs,
53 to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb,
41 to chat with defense contractors about equipping everyone in the building with night-vision gear instead, and
283 to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs, or screwing anything, on the Internet.