1. Women should not have children after 35. Really, 35 chilldren are enough.
2. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.
3. After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
4. I am a nobody,nobody is perfect,therefore I am perfect!
5. I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!
6. I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put up a sign: "CHECKOUT TIME IS 18."
7. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come we see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
8. How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?
9. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are alwyas complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
10. On my first day of school my parents dropped my off at the wrong nursery. There I was...surrounded by trees and bushes.
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