I read this and I just want to set this creep straight. I will add my comment after his.
Rules chicks don't understand:
1. Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the morning. Response: Do it yourself. If your dick won't reach, you're not my boyfriend.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down. R: That might work. But first you must learn to aim. No lady is willing to put down a urine covered toilet seat.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. R: Tell ya what, YOU can take care of this hair for a day and maybe you'll change you mind about that.
4. He's never thinking about "The Relationship." R: If that were true, women would be lesbians.
5. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. R: Sunday = one of the two days of the week I'm not working because you sit your ass in front of the T.V. set all day long.
6. Anything you wear is fine. Really. R: Then why do you always tell me my ass looks big in everything I wear.
7. You have enough clothes. R: We may, but with all the breast implants you make us get it calls for new bras, dresses, shirts, bathing suits....
8. You have too many shoes. R: Well in order to "look fine" in everything we wear we have to have a matching pair with every outfit.
9. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. R: Get a bigger dick and we'll stop crying.
10. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too. R: Our brothers are related, they must have some intelligence. Yes our ex-boyfriends are idiots, why else would we have dumped them? My father IS an idiot, he gave YOU permission to marry me.
11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. R: That depends on the question.
12. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. R: It's a waste of $$. He'll only tell me to make you turn down the damn T.V.
13. Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the morning. R: Again, do it yourself. If your dick isn't big enough your not my boyfriend.
14. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do. R: Don't do 50 things wrong and there won't be 50 rules.
15. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. R: if we stopped faking, you'd tell us you'd rather be deceived than ineffective.
16. It is neither your interest nor ours to take the quiz together. R: If I brought it up its in my interest.
17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. R: If we followed that rule then we would lose all the fights like you.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. R: If we dressed like Victoria's Secret then it would no longer be a secret.
19. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are? R: Here is how. You stop looking at other women and we'll SHOW you and let you EXPERIENCE our true beauty.
20. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. R: Who said we didn't want the genie to come out?
21. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. R: How about turning off the damn T.V. and making eye contact with us for 10 minutes?
22. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. R: Christopher Columbus reached America, not his destination.
23. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. R: Do you know how much we sweat down there?!?! If we didn't air it out you wouldn't enjoy them as much.
24. When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, you saying, "This is our exit," is not strictly necessary. R: Your right its not. Only a blonde would say that. Because we all know that it isn't the exit you really want.
25. Nothing says 'I love you' quite like a blowjob in the morning. R: Again, do it yourself, if you dick isn't long enough your not my boyfriend.
Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the morning. Response: Do it yourself. If your dick won't reach, you're not my boyfriend. if we could do it ourselves we wouldnt need you
lol i loved these responses (not just becuase i'm a girl, the rules without the responses were funny too). The one about Christopher Columbus was my fave.
To your number 8, because your ass is big no matter what you wear.
Show 1 replies to this comment
the "well then we would lose all our arguments" one is kinda the point, we can't win an argument about something from five minutes ago if you store two years worth of ammo, we only stock about a weeks worth because we let you forget your mistakes. other than that though most of these i agree with