My Way vs. Martha's Way

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Martha's Way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow into the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom, for petes sake. You're probably sitting on the couch with your feet up anyway.

Martha's Way #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" the pancake batter into the pan. You will have perfect pancakes every time.

My Way: Just buy the precooked kind you get in the supermarket that you have to nuke for 30 seconds in the microwave: the hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.

Martha's Way #3 To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My Way: Buy Hungry Jacks mashed potatoes and keep them in the pantry for a year.

Martha's Way #4: To prevent egg shells cracking while hard boiling eggs, put a pinch of salt into the water.

My Way: Who cares, you're going to take the shells off anyway, right?

Martha's Way #5: To get the most juice out of lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them on the kitchen counter before squeezing.

My Way: Just buy the kind in the plastic bottle, that way you can get every last drop of juice with very little effort.

Martha's Way #6: To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, drop two drops of dish soap in along with enough water to cover the pan and bring to a boil on the stovetop.

My Way: Eat out every night so you don't have to cook.

Martha's way #7: Spray your Tuperware with non-stick baking spray when storing tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains left over.

My Way: Feed your garbage disposal and there won'tbe any leftovers.

Martha's Way #8: When cake recipies call for flowering the pan, use any extra dry cake mix to avoid getting white marks on the sides of the cake.

My Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's Way #9: If you drop too much salt in a dish while it's cooking, just drop in a peeled potatoe to absorb the excess salt.

My Way: If I over-salt a dish that's just too bad. My Motto: If I'm actually able to make it, it gets eaten.

Martha's Way #10: Wrap celery in aluminum foil; it will keep for weeks in the fridge.

My Way: And it prevents aliens from taking control of the celery by sending invisible control waves into your fridge ?????!!!!!

Martha's Way #11: Brush some beaten egg white over a pie crust before baking it to give it a beautiful glossy finish.

My Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie instructions don't say to so I don't do it.

Martha's Way #12: Place a slice of apple in brown sugar to soften it.

My Way: Brown sugar is supposed to be soft?

Martha's Way #13: To determine whether an egg is soft immerse it in a pan of cool water with salt; if it sinks it's fresh, but if it floats, throw it away.

My Way: If you crack open an egg and the smell knocks you down, you can guess it isn't fresh.

Martha's Way #14: Cure for headaches; take a lime, cut it in half anf rub it on your forehead.

My Way: Martha, dear, the only reason it cures the headache is because the lime juice takes your mind off it by running into your eye and you are now blind.

Martha's Way #15: Don't throw out all wine, freeze into ice cubes for use in future dishes.

My Way: Extra wine?

Martha's Way #16: Use latex gloves for opening jars, the gripps on the fingers make opening jars a breeze.

My Way: Get a man to do it.

Martha's Way #17: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers, just grate and rub raw potatoe on your hands and rinse.

My Way: Yeah, and mashed potatoes will soon replace my antibacterial dishwashing detergent.

Martha's Way #18-21: Now look what Alka-Seltzer can do:

* Clean a toilet by droping in two Alka-Seltzer tablets and leaving for twenty minutes. Then brush and flush.

*Clean a vase. To remove a stain from a glass vase or cruet, drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets and some water.

*Polish jewlrey. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into water and immerse jewlrey in the water for two minutes.

* Clean a thermos bottle. Fill bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets and let soak for an hour (longer if necessary).

My Way: Put your jewlery, thermos bottle and vases into a toilet. Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once!


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C5IWU_My Way vs. Martha's Way

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