One day Tim was riding his car down the empty New York street. Seeing the street being empty, Tim sped up. Little did he know that there was a car about to cross the street. Tim crashed and was killed...
Tim then awoke from his sleep only to find him self in the sky with clouds all around. Tim was scared and confused, he then called out, "Hello?!" Tim waited a moment, then a deep GREAT voice said, "WHO ARE YOU?" Tim said, "I'm Tim...who are YOU?" The voice said, "I AM GOD!"
"God?...that means I'm..." "YES TIM...YOU ARE DEAD, BUT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD YET TIM...NOT FOR FIVE MORE YEARS." "Really?...so can I go back then?" "OF COURSE YOU CAN TIM." "But God, look at me I'm all bloody...Hey! Where's my arm?!" "TIM, CALM DOWN, I SHALL TURN YOU INTO A SPIDER." "A spider?!" "A SPIDER AND ONLY A SPIDER!!!!!" "Ok. Ok. I agree, god."
Poof! God turned him into a spider
"Now what god?" God said, "Squeeze your ass. Do this...MMMMMMM!!" "Push?" "YES WHEN YOU DO THIS..MMMMMM! YOUR SPIDER WEB SHALL COME OUT." "Ok God.........MMMMMMMMMMMM!" *POP!* and Tim was now spitting out spider wed from his ass
"NOW TIM GO DOWN TO EARTH USING YOUR SPIDER WEB." And so Tim pushed and pushed and he was going down to earth nice and calmly while doing this MMMMMMMMMMMM!
Then suddenly Tim heard his wife's voice, "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! YOU'RE TAKING A SHIT ON THE BED TIM!!"