A man and woman hobbled into a Washington emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his towels around his waist and the woman had them around her head. They eventually explained to the doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's member and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go!
A Californian doctor examining a young woman for abdominal pains asked her if she was sexually active. She said that she wasn't. A later examination showed that she was pregnant. Asked why she had said she was not sexually active, the woman replied "I'm not, I just lie there." When asked if she knew who the father was, with a puzzled look she replied, "No, who?"
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had a "rat in her pussy" and it bit him during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgigal needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.