This is an true story of what was said over the P.A. system on a Southwest Airline.
Me and my friends were coming back from a trip to Washington and we were all on the plane together.
Woman: as we prepare to take off please make sure your seatbelts are tightly fastened across your lips. Oh I mean hips!
Laughing throughout the cabin
Women: if the cabin should loose it pressure nitrogen masks will fall from the ceiling. Those of you with small children, those with people acting like children, and for women who wish they never had children please put yours on first.
Women: we are cleared now so prepare for blast off